Month: May 2023

I had the good fortune to hold a lengthy discussion with a neighbor recently who quoted this phrase by Marcus Aurelius:

“Do not act as if you had ten thousand years to throw away. Death stands at your elbow. Be good for something while you live and it is in your power.”

How does one make one’s life count?

Simple expressions of one’s values are sometimes overlooked. The privilege of being a grandmother, for example; and wind that back to the privilege of having two children, two daughters, raising them to be good citizens, good parents to their own children. Obvious and natural ways to ‘be good for something’.

Being good for something starts within

Fulfillment within the family structure may be sufficient for some, in that it brings joy, fulfillment and a deep sense of calm and peace for many. Yet, being good for that ‘something’ that one can do beyond the immediate family is often a yearning within.

Being good to one’s own self first is a prerequisite to expressing a ‘greater’ life purpose should one feel called to do something that reaches beyond the family.

Being good to self involves self care in all its nuances. Without a firm footing of self knowledge it is often difficult to choose an appropriate way of serving others that truly resonates with who one is. This is a journey, though, and learning who one is and giving expression to that person often evolves along life’s path.

How does one express that something that is beyond one’s immediate self or family?

Being good for something may well be expressed in what is called a greater sense of purpose, an act of service to others. The expression of that may change during one’s lifetime, as it has in mine.

– a position in the workplace, outside home such as

– a chosen profession;

– serving one’s country;

– being creative – sharing one’s wisdom through writing or the arts.

The list is endless, especially if looked upon as embracing any aspect of life.

From the harried days of all that my chosen profession of teaching involved, I now find that something in –

• Slowing down in life, sufficiently to smell the roses;
• Enjoying a child’s laughter in all its innocence;
• Being present in conversation with anyone I am talking with – that is, not being distracted by surrounding noise such as the chainsaw in the neighbour’s backyard!
• Silencing mind chatter
• Ignoring my phone, except for actual calls or messages
• Having a tea-party with my granddaughter;
• Confiding over coffee with a good friend.

What about a greater sense of purpose than such trivia you ask?

As for a greater sense of purpose that rattles around within, asking to be identified and expressed, what is that? What replaces the profession that one no longer finds fulfilling,or has outgrown? what is it ‘beyond family’ that I could embrace, that would impact a greater number of people, perhaps in one instance. How can the present moment be filled to embrace many (people) rather than one at a time, or just a few?

Not all of us are ‘called’ to a ‘greater’ purpose – for, in my view, there is no greater nor less than! What is, is. (This point could be debated, depending on how one looks at it.)

Sometimes though, there is a knowing, an inner notion that there is more, that one can reach more people, that is sparked within. One knows that there is an opportunity to do more and that the something (more) is within one’s power.

As I explore this awareness, this sense of knowing, this notion, I realize I am fulfilling it. It is within my power to write. And what I write is being published, and it is therefore reaching more people than just one.

Why write? Why is that my ‘more’?

I’ve a love for words, their nuances, the fun of language. For many years I played with learning other languages, though now I can only boast a mere word or two. In keeping with my post in the link below, I have now recommenced writing, and hope to uphold that which I began several years ago. I hope too, that my goal in sharing aspects of my life in my writing will resonate with those who need to hear the messages contained within.  

I invite you to leave a comment below about your chosen ‘something’ that you hope or know will leave a mark on this world. (If the comment box isn’t visible, please click on the title of this blog.)

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Check out aspects of my early background here: https://louiseallan.com/2017/07/10/susan-dunn-my-reading-and-writing-life/

It’s been over a year since my grand-kids stayed overnight. Gosh! How they have grown and changed! First of all, my now almost 6-year-old grandson is so much more vocal, keen to know about this and that, and really takes in the new experiences being offered, even on the trip between his home in suburbia and the house in the hills. Amongst the many things se shared, he soaked by learning about vineyards and the origins of wine; white painted fences around paddocks that contained horses and the beautiful Australian Banksias both in the bush and median strips.

Keen to explore the acre on which the hills home is built, our grandson runs happily between spaces, exploring where the fishpond was last time he was here, discovering only one laying hen, the companion having died some time ago, and now only two birds in the aviary.

Other discoveries include the new two-year old kitten-like cat, the addition to the household after our two previous went to cat heaven within a short space of time only a few months prior to his visit. “Destiny”, her cat-haven name soon became Dusty, as for some reason a two-syllable name is much easier to call! Our grandson remembers Dusty’s predecessors, Smooch and Pixie. It seems as though they smile from cat-heaven as they watch their playful newcomer and our grandson in the space they once shared.

Given the passing of three family pets, the subject of grave sites and death arose quite naturally. It’s no mean fete, however, to navigate the topic of death and burial with a young child. I take my hat off to our grandson’s father who plans a visit to a cemetery to see the sites of family members who served in the war. In my mind, and not intended as approval, but rather as simply a great way to ease into a difficult topic, this will build on a foundation already begun in the passing of my grandson’s great grandmother. It will, perhaps, lead to an understanding of where one is ‘laid to rest’ or buried, should that be the chosen destination of one who passes on.

Do you think there is a need in our society to be more open?

The whole concept of death and dying needs to be addressed in our society, in my view. As my grandchildren deal with the notion of their own grandmother ‘being old’, ‘having wings’ (arms that lack muscle strength!) and being unable to keep pace with their energy, I am comfortable with discussions that open the doorway to increased understanding. At some point, it may, indeed it very probably will, become relevant to introduce the notion that not only the older generation are the ones who die, that death may call one ‘home’ at any age. But that concept is yet to be introduced: the day for such a discussion has not quite arrived.  

Your thoughts?

When do you think it is a ‘good’ time to open discussions with a child about death and dying?

How would you or have you gone about it?

I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments below.

(If the comments box is not visible, please click on the blog post title and it will appear at the end of the post.)

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