It’s been over a year since my grand-kids stayed overnight. Gosh! How they have grown and changed! First of all, my now almost 6-year-old grandson is so much more vocal, keen to know about this and that, and really takes in the new experiences being offered, even on the trip between his home in suburbia and the house in the hills. Amongst the many things se shared, he soaked by learning about vineyards and the origins of wine; white painted fences around paddocks that contained horses and the beautiful Australian Banksias both in the bush and median strips.
Keen to explore the acre on which the hills home is built, our grandson runs happily between spaces, exploring where the fishpond was last time he was here, discovering only one laying hen, the companion having died some time ago, and now only two birds in the aviary.
Other discoveries include the new two-year old kitten-like cat, the addition to the household after our two previous went to cat heaven within a short space of time only a few months prior to his visit. “Destiny”, her cat-haven name soon became Dusty, as for some reason a two-syllable name is much easier to call! Our grandson remembers Dusty’s predecessors, Smooch and Pixie. It seems as though they smile from cat-heaven as they watch their playful newcomer and our grandson in the space they once shared.
Given the passing of three family pets, the subject of grave sites and death arose quite naturally. It’s no mean fete, however, to navigate the topic of death and burial with a young child. I take my hat off to our grandson’s father who plans a visit to a cemetery to see the sites of family members who served in the war. In my mind, and not intended as approval, but rather as simply a great way to ease into a difficult topic, this will build on a foundation already begun in the passing of my grandson’s great grandmother. It will, perhaps, lead to an understanding of where one is ‘laid to rest’ or buried, should that be the chosen destination of one who passes on.
Do you think there is a need in our society to be more open?
The whole concept of death and dying needs to be addressed in our society, in my view. As my grandchildren deal with the notion of their own grandmother ‘being old’, ‘having wings’ (arms that lack muscle strength!) and being unable to keep pace with their energy, I am comfortable with discussions that open the doorway to increased understanding. At some point, it may, indeed it very probably will, become relevant to introduce the notion that not only the older generation are the ones who die, that death may call one ‘home’ at any age. But that concept is yet to be introduced: the day for such a discussion has not quite arrived.
Your thoughts?
When do you think it is a ‘good’ time to open discussions with a child about death and dying?
How would you or have you gone about it?
I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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